When Freud Meets Jesus Part 4 (4)
In Genesis 14:11–16 (take a minute to read it if you can), we see Abraham’s life in danger because of Lot. Abraham gets word that Lot has been kidnapped. He gathers 318 trained men and devises a strategy to save his nephew. These men were not hired guns but men born in Abraham’s household; he knew them and raised them. Since Abraham had yet to have an heir, he may have considered that his heir could even be among them. When we suffer because of other people’s bad decisions, as Abraham did with Lot, it may be time to make some new friends. Healthy relationships are not dangerous to you or to those around you. God created human relationships to help us (Adam and Eve, for instance). It is equally important to realize we can never be the savior for another person—only God is!
Codependent/toxic relationships also exhibit completely different value systems. It is apparent in Abraham, who valued family, and Lot, who did not (Genesis 19:1–8). Abraham was willing to let some things go to move forward with God. Lot was not (Genesis 19:15–26). They were going in different directions with different values. The point being, everyone can’t go with you.
The most heartbreaking part of Abraham and Lot’s story of codependence/toxicity is what comes later. These types of relationships always cause problems in the future, and theirs is no exception. In Lot’s old age, his daughters, because they were unmarried, slept with him to become pregnant. The oldest daughter gave birth to Moab, the father of the Moabites, while the younger daughter gave birth to Ben-Ammi, the father of the Ammonites (Genesis 19:36–38). The Moabites and the Ammonites became fierce enemies of Israel. Lot became the antithesis of God’s promise to Abraham, as Lot’s descendants harmed Abraham’s seed.
This week, may we pray for one another as we recognize the signs of codependence and cut the cord so we can move forward with God’s amazing plans for our lives.