Last week, we worked to examine ourselves first; to see ourselves clearly so we can show up in our relationships authentically and make better connections with others. This week let’s examine how we can develop relationships on purpose. As believers, we are called to model Christ, to make sure others see Him in us. What we often fail to understand is that we are not called to be in a relationship with everyone we meet. The truth is we need to take the time to assess whether we should enter a relationship with someone. We need to evaluate if the person has the essential qualities qualifying them for a real relationship rather than jumping into relationships haphazardly.
God wants us to “relationship on purpose.” Remember, God uses two sources to work in our lives: His Word and people. God sends people into our lives to bless us; conversely, the enemy sends people into our lives to harm us, which is why we need to slow down and discern who sent them. How then do we determine who is a good candidate for a relationship? In Amos 3:3, God’s Word asks, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” This is a great place to start in assessing a relationship. Am I in agreement with this person? Do we share core values and beliefs? It is the beneath-the-surface issues which truly matter in relationships. It means agreement in critical areas, but it doesn’t mean there is no room for diversity or different opinions.
How does it look in real life? The success of a relationship depends on two people giving and receiving, prioritizing mutuality and joint benefit. Meaningful relationships share respect, honor, and values. Genuine relationships feature mutual connection with positive results. Take a few minutes to read Genesis 2:7–8 and 15–25. Note the key term here is “helper” or “help meet.” The original Hebrew term is ezer kenegdo, which means lifesaver. The term is only used one other time in Scripture to describe when we need God to come through for us desperately. But it doesn’t stop there. God gave them both the responsibility as each other’s ezer kenegdo. It is through this mutuality and joint benefit that genuine relationships never leave us empty and always fulfill.
Another foundation of genuine relationships is a commitment to truth. John 8:32 tells us, “The truth will set you free…” and it absolutely does. It frees us from relational anxiety, stress, and fear. True relationships also refuse to compromise core values. Core values are to a relationship as a foundation is to a house. Solid relationships agree on core values and never compromise those values. Finally, real relationships are upheld by pure motives. May we this week look at ourselves and our relationships and ask God to help us discern how we can improve on our relationship paradigms as we follow His directives for genuine relationships.